The Art of Stupidity
by Lady Feylene
Summary: Ron stumbles across a very upset Pansy by the lake, and does something very stupid. He tries to help.


Disclaimer: None of the characters herein belong to me, I am making no money off of this whatsoever.

Pairing: Ron/Pansy

Warning: Minor OotP Spoilers

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ron stumbles upon a *very* upset Pansy, and does something *very* stupid.

The Art of Stupidity 

It had been over from the start, really.

Ron sighed, kicking at a rock as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He should have realized that regardless of the circumstances, he and Hermione were *not* meant to be. Two weeks of trying, and they both decided to call it quits.

It was still just a *touch* depressing. 

They were still close friends, obviously. And Ron knew that nothing had really *changed* between them. He just felt that he needed an hour or so of grieving time.

The lake, he had found, was the perfect place to grieve. And everyone was at dinner, so he wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of being stumbled upon and asked a bunch of questions he didn't want to answer.

It wasn't like it was the end of the world. And it wasn't like he was going to go into fits of rage if he saw her with another guy. It just hurt a little bit.

He wondered if she was upset, too. She hadn't *seemed* upset, but neither had he. And it had been a mutual decision.

But it still hurt.

Walking along the edge of the lake, Ron was suddenly aware of a new sound. A sort of…a braying of sorts. Like a really distressed donkey. But there were no donkeys at Hogwarts, unless Hagrid had made a new friend.

Curiosity overcoming his self inflicted sorrow, Ron headed towards the noise.

//Oh, bad idea…// Ron came round a small group of trees, and wished he hadn't wondered about the donkey. It wasn't a donkey. It was a Slytherin girl by the name of Pansy Parkinson. And she was either having some sort of asthma attack, or she was crying.

//Shit shit shit shit…// Ron took a quick step backwards, his foot coming down on a twig. //Maybe she didn't hear that…?//

No. Shit. She most certainly heard that. She rounded on Ron, her dark eyes flashing. She certainly had been crying, as well. Her rather rounded face was blotched and red, and her eyes were quite watery.

"You!" She hissed, balling her hands into fists. "What are *you* doing here?"

"Just…just out for a walk…" Ron said, holding up his hands. Crying girls made him uncomfortable in general. A crying Pansy was ten times worse.

"It's dinner!" She snapped. "You're here to make fun of me!"

"No!" The girl was mad, really. "I didn't even know you were here. Until I…I saw you." //Followed the sound of your donkey-like wailing…//

"Oh, sure! I bet it's all over the school, how…how…" She collapsed into a fit of loud, ear splitting sobs. Ron didn't know what to do. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, and took a deep breath,

"I don't think so." Ron said. "I mean, *I* haven't heard anything about you…"

"No one tells *you* anything!" Pansy snapped, between screeches. 

"Well, why don't you tell me?" Now he just wanted to know what had made her so upset. Slytherin's in distress were sort of funny.

"Draco!" Pansy wailed, burying her face in her hands. 

Now, Ron saw Draco's very existence as reason enough to go into fits of emotion, but he doubted Pansy did. Especially since last he'd heard, the two were dating.

Oh.

He had a feeling they weren't dating anymore.

"Oh." He said, not knowing what else to say.

"Draco dumped me!" Pansy clarified. "For Millicent! And do you know why?"

"No…" Because Millicent was *marginally* better to look at then Pansy? Though, to be honest, Pansy *did* have the better figure. As in she wasn't built like a pile of bricks.

"*Her* father got promoted!" Pansy shrieked. 

"Okay, see." Ron sighed, and sat down on the log next to Pansy. "Malfoy is a prick."

"I loved him!" Pansy wailed, her body shuddering with the force of her sobs. Which was impossible, as far as Ron was concerned. Malfoy was some form of subhuman, and therefore not capable of loving or being loved.

"Oh, no you didn't." Ron said. 

"I did!" Pansy snapped. "I loved him and he said he loved me but he didn't!"

"No. He isn't capable of human emotion."

"Shut up!" 

"It's the truth!" Ron didn't understand why she couldn't see it. "He dumped you to date some hag whose dad as a better job then yours."

"She *is* a hag!" Pansy agreed, sniffling. "And she has an *awful* personality."

"She'll make him miserable." Ron offered.

"He deserves it!" The wailing was being replaced by a sort of triumphant anger. 

"He does. He's a bastard." Ron agreed. In his opinion, Malfoy-bashing-with anyone-was a good way to pass the time.

"But I *loved* him!" It was back to the wailing. Ron gritted his teeth, and did the only thing he knew to do. He patted her shoulder awkwardly.

This was a *bad* idea. Apparently he'd given some sort of female hand signal, because she whirled on him, flinging her arms around his shoulders and began sobbing into his neck.

This wasn't a very good place to be. Pansy *had* lost a good amount of her rather formidable girth, but she was still a healthy girl. A *strong* healthy girl.

"Pansy…Pansy….can't breathe…" Ron mumbled, trying to think of a good excuse as to why he suddenly had to be anywhere but there. But…she was a girl. And she was crying.

At least she let go of his neck a little bit. She was still-essentially-hugging him. This wasn't the sort of thing people could find about. Him going off and being hugged by dog faced girls in the woods.

Okay, so she wasn't *exactly* dog faced. But she did have a rather round face. And she used to be fat. Which in Ron's mind translated to: 'is fat'. And she was a bitch. Personality added to it. Which made Ron glad he had hardly ever even acknowledge the existence of Millicent Bulstrode. If Pansy said the girl had a bad personality…

"I just don't understand!" Pansy went on. 'Everything was perfect!"

"And then he saw something he thought was better." Ron said, patiently. "Malfoy is a bastard."

"I…"

"Pansy, if you say that you loved him one more time, I'm leaving…" Hopefully she'd just wail how much she loved Malfoy, and Ron could make his exit.

"No! Don't leave…."

"Um." Ron didn't know what to say to that. But Pansy was staring at him with really pathetic eyes, and her lower lip was trembling and she looked miserable. He'd be a complete cad if he left her there. "Okay."

"So…why are *you* down here, anyway?" Pansy asked, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

"Oh…uh…Hermione and I broke up."

"Oh." Pansy just shrugged. "You don't seem very upset over it."

"Well, we agreed it was the best thing." Ron explained. "We tried, it didn't work, no big deal."

"So why are you wandering around all by yourself, if it's no big deal?"

"Because…do you want a handkerchief?" Ron asked, watching her scrub her nose for the fifth time. He offered her one, and she took it without a word. "I mean, I just wanted to be alone for a little bit."

"It hurts so much!" Apparently they were back on Pansy's problems. Ron sighed. How did he get himself into these messes?

"Look, you'll find someone else. Someone much better then Malfoy." Ron tried. 

"Like who?" Pansy snapped. 

"Uh….I dunno…" How was he supposed to know that? "But you're…you know." He fumbled for words. "You're a girl."

"You're horrible!" Pansy snapped. "No wonder Draco hates you so much!"

"Hey, if I'm so horrible I wouldn't be sitting here trying to make you feel better!" Ron shot back at her. "I would have laughed at you, and run back to tell everyone you were sitting here crying. That's something Malfoy would have done. But see, I'm *not* like Malfoy. I'm trying to help."

Pansy didn't say anything, she just looked away and sniffled a bit more.

"But look, you're not hideous and you're not fat anymore." Ron said. "Try being a little bit nicer to people, and you'll probably find a really good guy."

"I *am* nice!"

"No, you're not." Ron shook his head. "You're mean. You're horribly mean."

"To people who deserve it." She added a small sniff to the statement.

"To people Malfoy thinks deserve it. You follow him around like some puppy…I mean, do you even think for yourself anymore?"

"I do not follow him around like that!" Pansy protested. 

"You do! Whatever he does, you do! Whatever he says, you say! Whatever he thinks, you think!"

"It isn't like that!" Pansy insisted.

"It is!" Ron wouldn't hear otherwise. "You like the things he likes, you hate the things he hates…you'll probably go after some other guy that you know *Malfoy'd* like!"

The look in Pansy's eyes changed. There was a steeliness in them now, a look of rather grim determination. It wasn't a very comforting look. In fact, Ron was rather certain he *didn't* want to be the one at whom that look was directed.

And it was more then a look. Pansy mumbled something under her breath, leaned forward, and kissed him.

It wasn't a little girly thank you kiss either. It was the sort of kiss Ron expected from Hermione, but got a mouthful of hair instead. This was a full out, open lipped, kiss. From Pansy, the Pug-Faced girl. Who really wasn't *that* bad looking, and could even be considered cute when she wasn't scowling or sneering.

"Draco wouldn't approve of *that*." Pansy snapped, pulling away.

"I don't think *I* approve of that…" Ron mumbled, vaguely. He really hadn't wanted to be kissed by her. Sure, it had been a pretty good kiss, but it was Pansy. She's kissed Malfoy with those lips.

"Oh that's right, I forgot." Pansy sneered. "*I'm* not the sort of girl you date. You're just as bad as anyone else here in this school, Weasley."

"Hey, I don't like you because you're a bitch, not because you're a Slytherin." Ron pointed out. "If you were, you know, a decent person, I wouldn't mind kissing you!"

"You don't even *know* me!" Pansy shrieked.

"I know that you treat my friends like shit!" 

"You treat my friends the same way!"

There was no winning. There really wasn't. A part of Ron's brain-most likely the part that was connected most directly to his manly bits-realized this and decided to do something about it. It took control, grabbed Pansy round the shoulders, and kissed her again.

"I thought you didn't like me." Pansy said, running a hand through her short, dark blond hair.

"I don't." Ron said, as his brain struggled for control.

"You kissed me."

"You kissed me first."

Ron had to keep a firm hold of himself, before he lost control and kissed her *again*. He shouldn't make a habit of kissing Pansy.

"Draco would kill you, you know." she said, a bit primly.

"Pansy, *everyone* would kill me. For remarkably different reasons." Ron admitted.

"It's really obvious that you don't care about that sort of thing at all." Pansy rolled her eyes.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Ron asked, frowning.

"You won't date me, because of what your friends would think." There was an air of triumph in her voice.

"No." Ron said, through gritted teeth. She just wasn't getting it, at all. "I won't date you because of all the horrible things you've done to my friends, and that fact that you're an unpleasant person."

"That you like to kiss."

"Just…forget about this kissing thing, would you?" Ron really wished it hadn't happened. But apparently she wasn't going to, because a few moments later they were *still* kissing. //You shouldn't be doing this…// She was only kissing him because she had just been dumped. And Ron was only kissing her back because he was a normal sixteen year old boy. And that was the only reason he was wondering how far she'd go with him…

"Pansy…" He pushed her away, gasping for breath. "We can't do this. I'm not going to date you because I don't like you, and I'm not going to keep kissing you because we're not dating!"

"I'd date *you*." Pansy pointed out.

"For sick and twisted reasons." Ron said. 

"No! Not…completely." Well, at least there was a veneer of honesty there. "I mean, you're cute." 

"And so are you." In the right light. 

"And you're *nice*." Pansy pointed out. 

"But you're not."

"I *can* be!"

And she had had her moments, Ron had to admit. When she was away from her horde of Slytherins, she was tolerable. And kissable. 

"Okay, I'll admit that throughout this little ordeal, you haven't been too bad." Ron said.

"You shouldn't kiss a girl if you're not going to ask her out." Pansy said, suddenly. "That's a real rotten thing to do."

"You. Kissed. Me. First." Ron was getting sick of her forgetting that.

"And you kissed back!"

"We kissed! Okay *we*! Both of us!" It was the best Ron was going to give her.

"Fine!" Pansy yelled. "Will you go out with me?"

"NO!" Ron was standing up now. He took a deep breath, and sat down again. "Look, you're upset cause Malfoy just dumped you. If you want to go out with me in, say, two weeks, then we'll talk."

Pansy glared at him, but then nodded jerkily. 

"All right." Ron stood up. "I do have to get going though. Prefect stuff, you know." Of course, she was prefect too. But he could make up things to do. He couldn't' stay there any longer, he'd up doing something he regretted, he could tell.

"Two weeks, Weasley."

"Call me Ron?"

"Fine. Ron." 

"Pansy." He really shouldn't have liked the way it sounded when she said his name, casual and clipped like that. He really shouldn't have liked kissing her, but it was all moot now. He just nodded, and turned away, walking back towards the castle.

She has kissed him *very* well. And she was cute. She was plump and curvy, and she wasn't as broad faced as he'd thought. It was more…heart shaped. And the short hair looked good on her. 

//Damn it! You are *not* attracted to Pansy Parkinson!// But he was. At least he was at the moment.

He wondered if he'd be able to wait two weeks, or if he'd end up doing something stupid anyway.

Why was he even wondering?

He'd do something stupid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
